Full-time job + pneumonia

So, I'm currently at work. With pneumonia. While doctor's contemplate whether I should be in the hospital since I'm not getting any better and I've been on steroids, 875 mgs of an antibiotic twice a day for four days, etc. and I'm still running a fever.

Some of you may be asking, 'why are you at work?'

The easy answer? I'm stubborn. I push myself. I need this job. There are people who spend their days looking for a job and I'm fortunate enough to have a full-time, fairly well-paying job right out of college.

That being said, I took a half day yesterday (okay, so I was here for five hours since I get in so early...) and I had to take a day last week, too, when I was first diagnosed and at my most contagious.

The eye rolls have started, the frustration is rising, there is currently a re-delegation of tasks--and no one will actually say it's because I'm sick all the time. But honestly--that's the reason.

I realize the situation I'm putting myself in by putting this on the Internet. By virtually telling my potential employers that I'm sick all the time. But you forget, I'm still working. In my time with this publishing company, I haven't missed one deadline. I have been switched from major brand to major brand and been held accountable for at least a dozen different newsletters and I have yet to miss a deadline--even when my head was in a toilet, I was with my grandmother who's dying, or I felt like I was dying.

So, I may not be in the office 40 hours a week every week. I bust my ass and I still put in more than 40 hours a week to get all of my work done, to the point where I'm doing work for other people because my work and duties are done. You're frustrated because I'm not in the office, but I'm out of the office, with a fever of almost 103, and I'm still getting my work done. Just because I'm at home doesn't mean I'm just sleeping--I'm in a more relaxed environment, and I'm allowing my body to heal, while saving you from getting sick, too--because in case you didn't know, pneumonia (when it's viral, like my doctor's suspect mine is) is contagious.

I don't want to be sick. I would rather be in the office 60 hours a week, be a classified workaholic, but unfortunately those aren't the cards I was dealt.

But I've found a way to deal with that. I've found a way to balance my health and my work--and I still work hard. I had to take a semester off of college and I still graduated on time and with honors. 

I don't slack off. The most I procrastinated was my homework--and I still did that in a reasonable time.

I'm writing a blog post at work because with the re-delegating of tasks, I literally don't have anything to do. I've checked in with everyone I need to--but there's nothing. So, I sit and wait for more tasks to come my way.

They're frustrated with me for not being here...but I'm here now, with a fever, infecting everyone--and for what good?

I'm frustrated because I'm forced to sit here, doing nothing, because--well, just because. Because if I leave, it won't end well. I'll get "talked to" for missing work. But what am I missing?

It's a Catch-22, and I'm the one caught in the middle. I don't feel like I should be treated differently just because I don't have an immune system. I work just as hard, if not harder, than those who are healthy. So why am I being held back? Why can't people see me as the hard-worker that I am?

I push myself so hard that I end up in the hospital--and even from the hospital, I'm still working (I've written newspaper stories from the hospital. Twice).

I'm sorry that they're frustrated with me, but my work gets done. And I believe that I'm going above and beyond expectations, considering I'm doing work for other people since my work gets done early and no changes have to be made because it was done correctly.

I'm sorry that they're frustrated, but so am I.

I don't deserve to be treated like this. Do I?