It all comes crashing down

For four years of college, I worked my butt off to graduate with honors. In the four years I was in college, I never ever stepped foot in any of the local bars that surrounded campus. In four years of college, I was awarded honors and leadership roles and praised for my hard work. I was told I had a bright future and that I could do anything I set my mind to. 

On Friday, I was laid off. 

“When we least expect it, life sets us a challenge to test our courage and willingness to change; at such a moment, there is no point in pretending that nothing has happened or in saying that we are not yet ready. The challenge will not wait. Life does not look back. A week is more than enough time for us to decide whether or not to accept our destiny.”

  

In a matter of minutes, a brief phone call about company cuts, effective immediately--I join the 7% of Americans who are unemployed. In a matter of minutes, I went from a drive home for the weekend for healing and to catch up on some appointments, to being crushed and lost. 

I sit here on Sunday, two days after losing my job, and I still struggle to find the words to cope with what has happened. This wasn't supposed to happen to me. I worked too hard for this. Why me? Why does it always feel like my life is a series of unfortunate events?

The first thing my sister said to me when I got home was "don't let this affect your self worth," and I've thought a lot about that over the last couple of days. 

The team that I had the priviledge of working with at Meredith was one of the best--they were some of the best people I had the honor of working with--and while I know that we all live in the same city and I will see them again, my heart hurts thinking of what they have still and what I struggle to find again. 

Everyone tells me I'll bounce back and I'll be back on my feet before I know it--and I want desperately to believe that. I cling to the hope that this is just a temporary nightmare and that sooner, rather than later, I'll wake up in my own little imperfect world again.

For now, I struggle. I spend my days applying for jobs, writing cover letter after cover letter hoping that someone sees the strength that I have and the desire that I have to be a part of their company. 

Somehow, I will prevail...because after all, that's what we all have to do, right? 

We all survive.