Last day on earth

I intentionally didn't post yesterday--yesterday's prompt took a lot of reflection and I'm still not 100% sure that I can answer it. 

"You are fooled by your mind into believing there is tomorrow, so you may waste today."

Assignment: Today, consider what you would do, how you would be, if this were your last day. 

Yesterday consisted of a lot of frustrations with my pain level and not being able to control it. I literally spent the entire day on the couch--or going between the couch and trying to find food I could eat and going to the bathroom. I ended up creating a website for a community that a friend and I will be spear-heading (more about that at a later time), and I applied for more jobs--but if yesterday was my last day, it would've been a lame way to go. 

The reality about my life is that I can't go out and do crazy things if it were my last day. Most people say they'd go skydiving or do something else extreme, but I don't think that's how I'd spend my day. I would spend it with my support system, with my friends and my family who had been by my side up until that day. Going out and doing something crazy isn't who I am, it isn't worth it in my opinion. The best time spent is with loved ones and with the people who love you and support you unconditionally. If I knew that it was my last day, I think I would be pretty pensive about it. I honestly don't see myself being outlandishly upset or depressed or crazy--I would just accept it for how it has to be and go from there. I would do everything in my power to give strength to those I'm leaving behind and give them peace to make their grieving process a little less painful. Is it morbid that I wouldn't be upset that it was my last day on Earth? Perhaps some of you think so--but in my body, in this body that I'm trapped in, it's a reality that I've accepted. 

I'm going to do today's prompt, as well, while I'm here :) 

"There came a time when the risk to remain tight in the bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom." 

Assignment: Today, consider one place in your life where you remain tight but would like to blossom. 

This one was easy for me. I need to learn to accept help--and accept help graciously. I need to learn how to let my guard down and tell people that I'm not well and allow them to help me. I need to stop feeling like I'm a burden to every person that is in my life and who offers to help me--including my family. I need to let people in my life, allow them to help me when they offer and be more willing to ask for help when I need it. That won't be easy, but I will certainly try to work on it.