Reactions and change

I want to preface this with I hate change. I hate change with every fiber of my being, which is why these posts are late.

Yesterday...

"If you have always done it that way, it is probably wrong." 

So much of what we do is unconscious, unexamined reaction to everything that has happened to us, especially in childhood. As we begin to wake up to the pain and suffering of rejections, disappointments, and hurts, it is tempting to find fault and assign blame. It is important to acknowledge what happened, but to stay stuck in the past simply destroys our present. (The preface to my assignment)

Assignment: Today, recognize your conditioned reactions for what they are and remind yourself you can let them go.

Yesterday, I was asked to sit on a "Young Professionals: What I wish I knew (when I graduated college)" at the Iowa College Media Association convention. When I was asked to sit on this panel, I was still employed. My immediate response to walking into this panel was "poor me, these other panelists are going to look at me and think that I'm a pile of shit," and that was pretty much my mindset all day. My conditioned reactions, when it comes to myself, are always harsh. I am my own worst critic, and I acknowledge that. But I let it go, I let them think what they wanted to think--and they were all really supportive. They were all understanding, and while they may have been having thoughts of "she's lazy" or something to that extent, they didn't verbalize them and they were all really kind. I need to learn to be easier on myself and realize that I'm a hard worker and that I will (hopefully soon) bounce back from this.

"It is not the strongest of the species that survives, nor the most intelligent but the one most responsive to change." 

Assignment: Today, change one small habit and watch what happens.

Anyone who's even been in the car with me knows that I have road rage worse than any pirate who's about to hit land. It's BAD. I will swear, wave my arms, make gestures--it's just a disaster. However, today, on my 2.5 hour drive home, I decided to have a different response. I starred in Les Mis. By myself, all characters played by me, and it was phenomenal. I was singing along to the 10th anniversary edition, so there was applause and everything, and people were laughing at me as I was passing them, but I came home in a significantly better mood. It's funny how something like that can just change your day--not saying that my road range is completely gone, but it's something that I think I will be more mindful about.